I sat for a few minutes just soaking in my surroundings. It was a school day, so Jacoby and I were at SPU. She didn’t need me in class that day, so I headed back to the van with a Subway and bag of Doritos in hand.
I love “people watching”, so I started eating my lunch while observing several students interacting in “the loop”, which is one of the main spots on campus just to hang out.
It hadn’t been more than 5 minutes before the silence in my van gave way to laughter; but not just ANY kind of laughter, “working every ab muscle…you didn’t know EXISTED” laughter.
Here I was, a 42 year old mom, eating Doritos, watching students from the backseat of Jacoby’s handicap minivan. Seriously, what had my life come to? The funniest part about this whole scene was that this was NOT a rare occurrence… it just happened to “hit me” mentally THAT day.
I would have NEVER dreamed that at the age of 42, I would be a proud mom of a beautiful disabled child. I would have NEVER dreamed at the age of 42, I would be sitting on a college campus 3 days a week…texting chore lists to the kiddos at home. I would have NEVER dreamed at the age of 42, I would finally be content and “at peace” with the life I just described to you.
However, this has MOST definitely been a process; an extremely painful one at times. Learning to trust and have faith that God has a plan… that is not going to kill you, is not a pretty process, my friends. Can I get an Amen?
I have NO doubt that many of you have walked though this or are walking through this right now.
If someone would have asked you 20 years ago how your life would look at this point, your answers would have been vastly different than what your present realities are, right?
Much. Different. (At least for the majority of us.)
So what do we do? How do we “fight the good fight” of faith when things don’t look like we had hoped for?
We know that we want to land on the open prairies of contentment and peace; this is what we crave and TRULY need in these moments of life. We want to be able to lay our heads down at night and believe that we haven’t missed our purpose in life or “calling”. We HAVE to know that God has big enough shoulders to handle our mistakes, weaknesses, insecurities, and questions when we can’t see how our lives are going to mean a “hill of beans”. We have to believe that He knows our hearts better than we do.
SPOIL ALERT: He does!
So how do we begin to get there? How do we begin to believe that whatever we are called to do, no matter how meaningless we feel that it is, holds GREAT worth to God?
First, write down, post, memorize, chant, or tattoo it on your forehead; whatever you need to do, keep this verse in the forefront of your mind.
“Trust in the Lord with ALL of your heart, and do not lean on your own understandings. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5&6
O please believe me, we can trust our God! He sees every angle, every barrier. He is always working for our best interest; if we give Him the reigns, He will… He PROMISES to make our paths straight.
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, in prayer and supplication, with THANKSGIVING, let your requests be made known to God, and the PEACE which surpasses ALL UNDERSTANDING, will guard your heart, your mind and soul in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6&7
My precious friends, a little thankfulness goes a LONG way with God. When we call out to Him and lay our concerns, worries and questions at HIs feet, He gives us PEACE in return, which surpasses all understanding! I don’t know about you, but it seems like we’re the ones getting the better deal here.
He PROMISES that He will give us peace in ALL circumstances and that He knows what He’s doing with the mess you see in front of you.
“For I know the plans that I have for you,” DECLARES the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11
So next time you find yourself feeling very “unimportant” in the world’s eyes, (like a 42 year old mom sitting in the back of a minivan day after day), remember the Lord is more concerned with our “usefulness” in His eyes.